Dead Baby Blues
by tinylexie
Summary: After losing Ara, Narcissa is crying all the time and has problems with sleeping, especially when Lucius is away. Takes place soon after "The Lost Baby." Part of the Dead Babies series.


No matter how hard she tried, Narcissa just could not keep herself from crying for hours at a time.

It was even worse when Lucius was not around because there was no one to comfort her. The house-elves didn't have a clue on how to handle such intense emotions. Brenan, of course, could care less how much pain Narcissa was in. He obeyed her orders, as she was the wife to a Malfoy, but it was obvious he had nothing but disdain for her.

And Narcissa most definitely couldn't go to her father-in-law for help. Every time he walked into a room and found Narcissa crying, it was just further proof to him that women were weak and overemotional.

Lucius's presence seemed to be the only thing that helped. The tears just didn't come as easily when he was near.

* * *

Nighttime was either an easy or a hard time for Narcissa, depending on whether or not the Dark Lord had Lucius doing something for him.

Narcissa was usually the type who could fall asleep quickly, while Lucius was the one known for being restless at night.

But since she had lost Ara, Narcissa had found it very difficult to fall asleep at night.

When Lucius was not with her, Narcissa would just lay in bed and cry nonstop.

* * *

At times, Narcissa really did feel weak and pathetic. Why couldn't she stop crying? It was true she could be emotional at times, but she had never been this emotional before.

She knew that she was deeply moaning Ara's loss and would always moan her loss, but crying about it wasn't going to solve anything.

And it make her feel so weak.

Yet, no matter how hard she tried, Narcissa could not stop the tears from coming, especially when Lucius was away.

Even Calming Draughts, which she used during the day when Lucius wasn't around, weren't enough to help her. She would be just fine for a few hours. But then she would start crying again, and after a while she would finally give in to the pressure and take another dosage.

Lucius's collection of Calming Draughts had decreased dramatically in the period of just a few days.

Narcissa did not have her husband's skills in Potions, but she wasn't a complete slouch either. However, whenever she tried to brew some more Calming Draught, she would suddenly begin to cry yet again. Needless to say, she wasn't adding to Lucius's collection.

And Narcissa was too ashamed with herself to tell her husband.

And it was the complete same way with Sleeping Draughts, which Narcissa used at night when she was alone. They were just a temporary solution, and Narcissa had yet to brew more.

Lucius did not yet know about this either.

* * *

"I'm going to fall asleep tonight," Narcissa promised to herself one night when Lucius was at home.

She looked over at her husband. He looked even more exhausted than she did. The Dark Lord had been keeping him busy.

And Narcissa also knew that Lucius was struggling very hard to not let his own emotions overwhelm him.

The thought of Lucius Malfoy ever crying over anything, even over the loss of his own child, was incomprehensible.

But Narcissa could see that the loss was taking its toll on her husband, and she didn't want to keep him up with her ridiculous crying.

* * *

Narcissa laid down next to her husband. At first, she felt just fine.

But just moments later, the tears began to fall. What was wrong with her? She usually was able to control her tears when Lucius was near.

"Narcissa," she heard Lucius's voice say in concern.

A moment later, Narcissa felt Lucius wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him.

"Don't worry about me," Narcissa cried. "Just go to bed. You need your rest."

"So do you," Lucius retorted. He looked at her closely. "You don't look good, Narcissa. Have you been getting any sleep lately?"

"No," Narcissa sobbed, feeling completely ashamed with herself. "I'm so sorry, Lucius. I'm so sorry for being so weak."

"Don't speak such nonsense," Lucius replied in a voice that was both sharp and gentle. "Are these my father's words? Because if they are-"

"No, Lucius," Narcissa spoke quickly, "your father hasn't been saying anything to me. He's actually been leaving me alone for the most part."

Narcissa's voice turned more hysterical. "I just can't seem to stop crying, and Calming and Sleeping Draughts don't help for long. I need to brew you some more, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I'm so sorry."

"Don't," Lucius said. "Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I just wish you had said something to me."

"You've been busy," Narcissa responded, "and I didn't want to burden you any more than you are already."

"Since when have you become a burden to me, Narcissa?" Lucius asked. "Don't speak like that. You mean more to me than anything or anyone else, and you always will."

"I know," Narcissa cried. "I didn't mean to apply otherwise. I really don't know what's wrong with me."

Lucius pulled Narcissa even closer to him. "We'll go to St. Mungo's tomorrow," he said.

"Do you honestly think they'll be of any help to us?" Narcissa asked, her voice now bitter and harsh. "They've already failed Ara."

Lucius was silent for a moment. Then, he said, "I'll could make you a stronger Sleeping Draught, but it still would only be a temporary solution. You can't keep on going on like this. It's not good for you. You need to get some proper rest. Believe me, Narcissa, I feel the same way about St. Mungo's as you do; but maybe there's a chance that they can actually help with this."

"All right," Narcissa responded. "We'll see what they have to say."

Moments later, Narcissa began to cry with a fresh vengeance.

By this point, Lucius was holding her so close that her tears were severely wetting his clothes, but he didn't say anything. Nor did he try to pull himself away from her. In fact, he pulled her even closer to him.

"Promise me you won't leave me tonight, Lucius," Narcissa cried. "I really need you."

"I won't go anywhere," Lucius promised. "I'll be here for the rest of the night."

* * *

**Author's Note****: I'm really not happy with this. I feel like this is complete crap, but I also feel like it was something I had to try to address because I think it would be perfectly understandable for Narcissa to suffer from Baby Blues after losing Ara.**


End file.
